End of all stories

I have miserably failed in whatever I have attempted till date. I have attempted many startups, all have failed. I have been fired four times in my career spanning 15 years. Earlier I thought I am not capable, but later I realized that it was something else.

After enlightenment, It was not possible to attach myself to any story or in other words, it was not possible for me to be a part of any story. Nature would simply not allow. All stories have come to an end at enlightenment.

We work hard only to keep our stories alive. But when life starts to defeat you, it crushes all the stories, you fail miserably.

Now there is a great repulsion to the things that I have created and the things that I wanted to do earlier. The products that I created have become so repulsive that I don’t want to see them or do anything about it. I feel embarrassed to show people what we have created in the past. This is probably because no story forms anymore. I have a feeling that my products are so inferior that people will laugh at them.

Earlier there was some drive. I wanted to do things, now it is just the reverse. I just want to run away from these things. Not only a story does not form, but a negative story forms. 

There is no pride in what I have created. The same pride in one’s product that Steve Jobs always spoke about. I don’t know what I love to do. My love for something lasts for a few hours maximum overnight. I feel I am far away from what other people are doing. I do not have the pride to show or talk about our product. 

The companies/Ideas I have started in the past have also lost their pull. 

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