Why we Hate?

I was thinking about wiring about love. But you will not understand love, if you do not understand hate. You will be able to love only if you understand why you hate.

To understand this you will first have to do a little exercise. This exercise will help you know yourself. This exercise is very important.

Take a piece of paper and write down point wise about yourself.

Your Relations – like, you are someone’s son or a daughter, you are a friend, you are someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend, someones fiance, someone’s student, someone’s teacher,  write down all that.

Your Dreams and Goals – You have had dreams since the time you were a kid. Even today you are planning for the future. You wanted a Good Job, You wanted a Good House, You wanted Good Education, you wanted a good spouse, you wanted a good looking spouse, if you are a girl, you have always dreamed of having a rich spouse. Also write about your future goals – what you would like to see yourself in 5 years from  now (This seems like an HR Interview Question) – Write your goals of the past and that of the future.

Write down Presently who you are, what you do, where you work, what is your education, who you are with (husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, fiance etc).

Write down what makes you, “YOU”.

All the above are your identities. All these identities make you “YOU”. Without these you will no longer be “YOU”. See, you have not one but many identities. There are so many “YOUs”. You are split between so many identities.

Throughout our lives, we keep protecting these identities. All our driving forces are only to protect these Identities and strengthen them. If you watch very carefully you will know. All your anger, all you pain, all your distress is because you are not able to live up to these identities. Every movement and every word uttered by us is only to protect and strengthen these identities and NOTHING ELSE. If you watch yourself very closely, you will know that I am right.

If you now make a list of all your the people you know or have known since childhood, you will be able to connect each of these people with every identity of yours. The people who help to to be one of your identities, are your friends and they are the people you like. And the people who have gone against these identities, have not made us be who we think we our, not made us realize one of our identities, have become our enemies, these are the people who we do not like.

When your spouse tells you that he or she loves you and will stay with you forever. Your Identity as a husband or wife gets strengthened and you like him or her. If your spouse comes and says, you are a pathetic person and would like to go for  a divorce, Your identity as a husband or a wife gets threatened and you do not like her or him any more. Your identity as a “good Person” also gets threatened, because your spouse calls you “Pathetic” and you do not like him or her any more.

So we come to this conclusion that we hate everyone else and love only our identities. The whole world is our enemy, except our identities.

We hate when these identities get threatened by any situation or person. And we start hating that person. Be very careful and watch your thoughts when you develop some hatred for anyone. I can bet that this person or the situation must be threatening one or many of your identities.  We love when someone strengthens our identities. Even when we love, we are loving not the person, but our own developed and imaginary identities. 

Having these Identities gives rise to expectation. Since you cannot strengthen you identities, because most of them are absurd and Imaginary, we expect that the other will be able to. We do not understand that if you have not been able to do it, other being very much like you, we all are almost the same, how can he or she do it.

People marry thinking that the other will fulfill their dreams and expectations, and make them be  their identities. But when this does not happen, it gives rise to enormous amount of tension between the partners. Each start hating the other and eventually it marriage ends up in divorce. But if these people have not realized what went wrong, they will repeat the same mistake again. One has to go to the core and uproot the error.

Now you know why you hate a person. You know what gives rise to hatred. You know why we love. Do we even understand the meaning of love? NO. I am afraid, but we do not. 

You would start loving when you have stopped loving thousands of Identities that you have developed till date and everyday going on developing. 

You do not have to love. Love will automatically happen when all these identities are no longer there. When you have separated yourself from your million identities.

#Love #Ego #Hate #Relationship #Identity

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